{perfect}ionist

Perfectionist means different things to different people, many people are perfectionists when it comes to academics–always studying, editing upon editing their papers, etc. , then there are people who are perfectionist when it comes to athletics– late night practices, reviewing tapes, researching different technics, etc. , then there are people like me. Social perfectionists, always trying to be the best to everyone– being the best friend, the best daughter, the best girlfriend, the best sibling, etc. That any encounter with another person has to be perfect. That you strive to be the very best that you can be for others, because without doing so you feel like you’ve just let everyone down. That you must always put others needs before your own to ensure happiness of that person. That any hiccup in the road is seen as a failure to the people you care so much about. Maintaining this type of persona can be exhausting on ones mental health, but it’s just who I am as a person. I can even begin to imagine my life without the main force being others. It took me over 18 years to realize that this is who I was. My issue now is that I need to overcome the reasoning behind my actions. I need to no longer do things for other because of this idea in my head to be perfect, but rather to do it because it’s enjoyable. Sure it’s easy to believe that you’re doing it because you enjoy it but deep down inside the real reason remains. I will always care about other people, that’s just in my blood but I am going to change how I go about thinking of caring about other people. Doing so the heart and mind will become more in synced and the darkness will soon subside. 
xo, 
nik

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s